It’s a new year. I’ve recently started reading and trying to follow intuitive eating, so for once there are no goals attached to weights, measurements, pant sizes and workouts per week. My goal is to try to let my body recover from years of restricting and binging.

I guess I have a few goals. I’ll keep going to physical therapy and pilates, because the more I go the less my joints dislocate and subluxate. Last week my physical therapist and I discovered that my left clavicle dislocates from my shoulder completely. Also fun – I can put it back in myself! I thought it was my shoulder continuing to deteriorate, but nope. Something new altogether.

I’m also trying to find an Ehlers-Danlos treatment center or clinic in the eastern half of the US. I could see the doctor that treats my sister, but it’s all the way in Phoenix. Flights that far really start to add up. I want to see a doctor that knows about all of the ways EDS affects my system. I want a doctor who will listen when I say “I think this might be the thing” and then help me try to find a way to make it better. I’ve been passed along and told “we can’t help you anymore” more times than I can count. I can feel better than I do now with the right treatments. I know it can. So. Next up is finding a treatment center and getting on their wait list.

In the meantime, I’ll try to be here, being kind to myself. I hope you’ll be doing the same.